


caught in your sway

by kurapikano



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, M/M, Not Really Character Death, Possible Character Death, Right now, Songfic, What Have I Done, also killua and gon are just briefly mentioned im so sorry, anyway leopika angst, do it or else smh, listen to sibella, now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 00:06:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26536273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurapikano/pseuds/kurapikano
Summary: Reflecting on the possible fate of someone who is only thinking of their goals, and not their consequences, is a difficult thing.
Relationships: Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight
Comments: 8
Kudos: 30





	caught in your sway

**Author's Note:**

> technically a songfic not really i just was inspired by a song shhh. stream "sibella" from a gentleman's guide to love and murder right now or else
> 
> (tw: mentioned possible future death idk man it's self-destructive pika time.)

Their dance was more akin to a tiptoe.

This was a fact Leorio was incredibly aware of - painfully aware of, really. Every time he saw blonde locks ruffle in the wind, or that ruby drop earring brush against the soft skin of a slender neck, he felt himself teeter, like a child learning to walk a balance beam. Every step was horror, and the wrong move could and would send him to the ground, but there was a difference between the scenarios.

Children walking balance beams had something to cushion their fall.

If he dared fall even a centimetre, he knew he would still break every bone in his body - or, rather, every valve in his heart would collapse and render themselves useless. There was only one fair reason for the beat of his heart besides the natural pace of a living man, and it took form in a delicately carved person that still managed to be horribly cutting.

It was like seeing an ice sculpture, fragile and ethereal in its beauty, but knowing it was cold to the touch, and its shards could draw scarlet warmth from clammy hands to make them bleed frigid.

Brown eyes and hairpin curved lips haunted Leorio's every waking moment, and many of which he was not awake during. Horribly, the very sight of Kurapika made his heart trip over itself in a raging, forte crescendo, as if created simply to draw breath from any living being's lungs and lull their life out of their throat.

That dynamic piece drew out the climax of their pattering waltz, but, really, it felt like Leorio was the only one doing it, as if he were stepping in circles around something of reverence that refused to reciprocate for its own reasons.

Kurapika probably had his own reasons.

He probably had a reason for never answering calls.

He probably had a reason for not giving him a way to contact him.

He probably had a reason for running off every time things got comfortable again.

He probably had a reason for being as heartless as he acted.

It was a curse that he couldn't hear that heart, because Leorio swore it was there, always had - he knew it was there. He knew it was begging to be at peace, but it played the beat of a war drum at the same moment, a horrible discord stirring. Something like that. It had to be.

It had to be, because he wasn't sure he could stomach any other thought.

Deceitful, was the last remaining Kurta - he was always doing everything alone, presumably to keep his loved ones safe, but Leorio had to wonder if he realized how counterintuitive that was.

Certainly, they were physically safe...from Kurapika's business, anyhow. However, the boys had been through hell and back, things children ought to never have to be through, and that lead to the conclusion that he wasn't sure Kurapika would ever come to. Even if he did, he wasn't sure he'd process it.

He could not keep them safe from everything.

They were already damaged, even when he was absent.

Kurapika was so smart, yet so oblivious. He operated on tunnel vision, only seeing his own point of view, and being unable to focus on anything but what he had decided on. He was stubborn, uncompromising, so, so, _stupid-_..

Even so, Leorio adored him.

That was the worst of all, really. He could not even push it to somewhere else in his mind, even if he knew Kurapika was strong, knew he could probably weasel out of trouble if he had to; it was just too easy to assume that. There was no certainty, and there was no reassurance that the previous time he saw him would be the last time he ever would. There was only confusion and being left in the dark - he wondered if he'd live to regret caring so much about someone who never cared for himself.

Kurapika's company was treacherous these days, if only because it all hurt so damn bad. Every glance burned like hellfire, and every word felt like a ton of bricks. There was so much clear sadness behind all his anger, but Leorio knew he was probably more than hopeless in the field of trying to take that away.

Kurapika would drag his rage to the grave.

Leorio just feared that the rage was the one dragging Kurapika to it.


End file.
